Six Reasons Why Mediation is the Best Choice for your Children if you are Divorcing or Separating

 There are many reasons why mediation is the preferred choice if you are thinking of divorcing or separating and you have children.

Less stress- The process of mediation provides a much more peaceful and less stressful environment for parents who are considering divorcing or separating.  Mediation is conducted in the privacy of the mediator’s office, rather than in a courthouse where each side is looking for a “win” which means a “lose” for the other parent. In mediation the focus is on helping parents make decisions that will be best for their children. Less stress on the parents will mean less stress on the children as they can be particularly vulnerable at this time.

Lower cost- Mediation is a much more streamlined process than a litigated divorce.  Mediation is therefore less expensive and will  allow you , to conserve your hard earned  financial resources to meet the expenses for your family and your children’s needs going forward.

More Control in the Mediation Process-  Our mediators provide guidance to assist you in making important decisions for the future of your children, including custody issues, parenting plans, child support and how other expenses for the children will be paid, such as extracurricular activities, health costs and possibly college expenses.  In mediation you, as parents, will be making those decisions for your children.  You will have more control in these decisions and who else truly understands the personalities of your children and their individual needs better than you as parents. 

Better Communication- The process of mediation sets a tone for better communication.  At the New York Divorce Mediation Group our mediators are not only attorneys but we have the benefit of a mediator trained as a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in families in the transition of separation or divorce.  You will be assisted in improving your ability to communicate with one another to arrive at decisions which will be in the best interests of your children.  We will focus on helping you listen to one another respectfully so that you can more easily make decisions in the here and now as well as better co-parent in the years ahead.  We realize that you are both under a lot of stress and that communication problems may have even led to the difficulties in your relationship, but  the mediation process will help you with your ability to communicate with one another for  the benefit your children  as they are usually very sensitive to the way they hear their parents talk to one another or talk about one another. 

Emotionally Protective of Children-   Our mediators help support parents during this process so that behavior and communication is more protective of the children. Studies have shown that how the divorce or separation process is conducted can have lifelong effects on your children.   Effort is made to help parents consider what their children will remember years later about the period of time that their parents were divorcing or separating.  We want to provide a process and environment  where your children will remember that their parents did all that they could to help them get through this period in their life in a way that was not angry and frightening but was supportive and caring, even though the time was difficult or sad.  

Future Cooperation- Even though the relationship of the parents changes with a divorce or separation,  co-parenting continues for many years to come.  The mediation process, with its focus on communicating each of your concerns about the children and their needs, will enable each of you to co-parent with one another.  This spirit of cooperation will have a long standing impact in the years ahead, especially if either parent or both of you wish to change any part of the parenting plan.  You can then have the opportunity, if needed, to return to the mediators who understand your needs and those of  the children to create a solution in the future should your needs or the needs of your children change.   

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