Should we get separated?
This is a very personal question and one that only you can really answer. Many couples come to a mutual agreement that it is best to physically separate from each other. They may have been in couples counseling and after a thorough process in therapy, have come to realize that the marriage is over and it makes sense to go their separate ways. It is more often the case that one spouse wants the separation and the other doesn’t. In either case, once at least one spouse has decided that they want to separate, generally it will happen sooner or later.
If any of the following circumstances has occurred for you, you may find it prudent to consider a separation:
- You cannot communicate with each other without a constant argument
- You have tried couple counseling and at least one of you has decided the marriage is over and a separation from each other is the next logical step
- You are both fighting and the tension in the house is affecting the children
- One of you has moved out of the marital home
- There is distrust between the spouses that cannot be resolved
- You are more roommates than soul mates
- You have come to realize that your values and interests are no longer compatible
If your personal reasons are not included in the list, the important thing to remember is that if you feel that you can no longer live comfortably together in the same house, it may be time to consider a legal separation.
An initial physical separation can bring a much needed “time out” and a cooling-off period within which to reconsider other means to work on the marriage. The separation period can give you time to explore other options to either resolve your differences or to seek to end the marriage.