Co-parenting and divorce mediation
With the best interests of your children in mind, at New York Divorce Mediation Group we often bring the opportunity and benefits of Co-parenting into the divorce mediation conversation. When any family breaks apart there will be changes in every family member’s daily life. Adults are better emotionally equipped to deal with the day-to-day changes this separation brings about. Children, especially young children, need more help. Co-parenting enables the children of a dissolving marriage to experience a more stable life than in a typical court ordered child custody arrangement.
In fact co-parenting during divorce is the exact opposite of a typical court-ordered child custody arrangement where one parent is exclusively responsible for the children and the other becomes an occasional visitor. This “shared parenting” agreement allows the children to continue to receive regular time, attention and love from both parents.
How to Co-Parent When Going Through a Divorce
Making this co-parenting joint custody agreement work is not always easy. The parents challenge in this arrangement is to keep their personal feeling of anger, hurt and distrust at bay and put the focus on the welfare of the children. Doing so ensures that the children’s needs are met and that they are able to retain close personal relationships with both parents regularly.
For co-parenting to work when going through a divorce, open communication between both parents is essential. Both parents need to be of a similar mind regarding the care and upbringing of the children when in either parent’s allocated time together. Respecting the other parent’s wishes regarding the children’s welfare when the children are in one parent’s care is paramount for co-parenting to work.
For example, if a mother’s concern is healthy eating, it would violate the co-parenting spirit of the agreement if the father continually fed the children fast food and soda when they are in his household. If the co-parenting agreement calls for a set bedtime for the children, both parents must respect this decision when the children are in the household. This brings the consistency to the children’s life that co-parenting affords.
Those couples in mediation are emotionally ideally positioned for a co-parenting arrangement as they are predisposed to a more amicable divorce. Co-parenting during divorce eases the life changing situation for the most vulnerable in the family – the children.
At New York Divorce Mediation Group we have a trained psychotherapist who works with families in transition as part of the mediation process. We are trained to help guide you through the process and ease your separation thereby lessening one of the key concerns of divorcing couples at any stage in their married life – how to best deal with the children’s needs.
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