Separation or Divorce is Difficult on Mental Health
Any mental health professional, as well as anyone who has ever gone through the process of getting ready for a divorce, will tell you that this experience can be one of the most challenging life events. It can cause a roller coaster of feelings, which can be greatly magnified when children are involved. This life event may lead to increased risk for depression and anxiety, among other emotional challenges, no matter who initiated the divorce, even in situations where the decision is mutual. Even contemplating separation or divorce can lead to a perfect storm of emotions, including fear, sadness, anger, hurt, and despair, among others, as it represents both a personal and often a financial crisis.
Getting ready for a divorce is challenging, but you can protect your mental well-being. Acknowledge your emotions, build a support system, and take proactive steps to care for yourself. These actions will help you navigate this life change with clarity and resilience.
Allow Yourself Your Feelings
Getting ready for a divorce can feel like the death of hopes and dreams-quite powerful. You need time to allow yourself to grieve and to process the intensity of emotions. Be wary of numbing the discomfort. If you do not give yourself the time and space to process your feelings or if there is an effort to mask the feelings then this could lead to unhealthy activities such as overuse of alcohol, drugs, food, electronic devices, or other addictive behaviors. In the short and long run, this will be harmful to your health, mental and physical.
Begin to Up the Ante or Cultivate Healthy Habits
If you already practice healthy habits, divorce is the time to strengthen them. If not, it’s the perfect time to start. Feeling better physically can surely lead to feeling better emotionally. Make sure to prioritize eating healthy foods; participate in physical activities; and get sufficient rest and sleep. Keep current on all your medical appointments.
Healthy habits should also be included as part of self-care, focusing on stress reduction. Helpful for stress reduction are exercise, deep breathing exercises, meditation, and mindfulness techniques. If you don’t have the time or resources to join a gym, there are many useful videos or apps available on your phone or other devices for exercise or guided meditations, making it easy to practice stress reduction from home.
Seek Support Systems
Isolation while preparing for a divorce or separation can magnify negative emotions. It is crucial to stay connected with supportive friends and family who are encouraging and uplifting. Try to minimize reliance on those in your inner circle who for whatever reason are not helpful emotionally at this time. Seek out spiritual guidance as well if that is a source of comfort to you. Also, support groups either in person or virtual can be extremely helpful to avoid feelings of isolation and the belief that you are the only one going through this experience.
Seek out an individual therapist for additional support during this most challenging period of your life. A professional can offer advice on how to have the best communication with your soon to be ex-partner that will hopefully be open and respectful, especially if children are involved. If you are involved in a high conflict relationship then the therapist can help you with establishing boundaries. Having a trained professional help you process your emotions; guide you through the turmoil; and help you envision your new goals and dreams can be invaluable.
Obtain Legal Advice and Guidance
Finding the least stressful way to separate or divorce is essential for your mental health. Seeking legal advice helps you understand all available options, including mediation and collaborative divorce. These processes avoid court, making them more cost-effective, time-efficient, and confidential. Exploring them can give you greater control over your future.
Conclusion: Navigating the Process & Getting Ready for a Divorce Emotionally
At the New York Divorce Mediation Group, we understand how important it is to get ready for a divorce emotionally while also navigating the legal process. Our trained mediators, who are experienced attorneys—one of whom is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker—are here to support you through every step. If you’re looking for guidance on mediation or collaborative divorce, contact us at 516-749-5017. We will be happy to answer any questions or concerns you may have.